I would like to address her as Shiela Rao, her name before
her marriage. I feel every woman should retain her name, not to mean in a
feminist way but simply because she is born with it. She lives her name in her school,
college, through her career and of course with family and friends. And I think
a name says a lot about someone. I’m not quite a believer of the famous Shakespearean
quote, “what’s in a name?.”
So, when I think of
my grandma I try and connect the dots from all that I have heard about her. She
still remains a mystery to me. It seems she was a social welfare officer before
and after the Independence of India. She worked during the British rule and was
a graduate. My father mentions a lot about her, every now and then. He would
use one word to describe her, that she was ‘kind’. Sometimes, eating something
familiar he had in his childhood would remind him of her. And in no time he’d
recall “This, I know this taste, it’s just how my mother used to cook”.
Our house is filled with her craft work. From knitting to simple
thread work on the table spreads and small knits that were used as covers for
the telephones back then. I never had the chance to see her or be with her but
I saw her through my father’s eyes. I wonder why my grandpa never spoke much
about her, I wish he would talk more about the kind of person she was. But, he
does tell us his love story with his head held high. My grandma in those days
had the audacity to fall in love, to stand by it and marry the man she loved,
my grandpa. And the rest is history.
She definitely was a big influence in my grandpa’s career,
insisting my grandpa to complete his graduation and instilling faith in “Lokadarshan”,
Kannada daily newspaper which was formerly called “Darshan”. There are days when we
sisters sit and talk about her. Wondering of a different life that we would
have in her presence. But she blessed us with a good life anyway. And the name?
It still remains, our house is named after her, “Shiela Nilaya”.
