My guilt trips to India..

The first time I landed in US after my wedding, I had my mangalsutra (wedding chain that only women wear after marriage as a symbol of being a married woman which is a thick long chain of gold with smaller gold pendants) as I was told to be wearing it always and to never take it off. As days passed by, I stopped wearing it, as it was very uncomfortable and was too much gold for an everyday accessory. I am someone whom you would normally find not wearing earrings even, to me this thick long chain meant more of a task than my own will to wear it. 

I don't even want to talk about why men don't have any such accessory that symbolize their marriage to women. And why are married women judged when they aren't wearing one. This attitude and tradition is so old and rigid that it would hurt the sentiments of a lot of people. Actually, the society isn't wrong either, that's just how our minds have been conditioned. But I am more concerned about how I always feel guilty when I wear it only when I go to India, because I don't want to be judged and not because I want to wear it. 

For me, it doesn't mean anything. I don't believe that wearing a chain would strengthen my marriage or would protect it in any possible way.The feeling is not very pleasant when you find yourself cheating your own ones. Only if there was an easier and a simpler way to do it. But, do we have the courage to accept and change?